The Shoes I Couldn't Fill

The exhilaration of home educating my kids had dissipated. My husband and I were doing full-time ministry on a part-time schedule. The bottom level of our townhouse was being renovated to add a needed bedroom and the 911 attack was fresh in my mind. My outlook on life was grey.

As far as homeschooling, my kids weren’t the problem and teaching wasn’t the issue. My mentality was my problem. The noose of perfectionism was stealing my vitality.

When had I adopted the picture of the multi-tasking, never sleeping, Betty Crocker housewife? I loved everything that I did. Music, ministry, teaching and even learning how to frame walls tapped into my childhood fantasy of being a carpenter. But doing anything is hard when you are trying to live up to a self-imposed image.

My merciless inner overlord wanted to cry out, “I am woman, hear me roar!” Instead, most days all I could muster was a feeble yelp.

Perfectionism withdrawal took a few years. Self-condemnation had to be rooted out as did pride and concern for the opinions of others. I learned that my school day could be flexible. The kids didn’t have to follow a public school schedule. I could give them a two hour break in the afternoon and finish up in the evening or on a Saturday. As far as always being available to pray with someone in need, I had to learn to say, “I can’t meet you this week” with no guilt.

Having a Mary Kay face each day became a distant memory. Good bye “quick” beauty regimen; eyeliner and mascara could suffice. I still cooked each day, but cooking fed my creative mind. As far as the post-911 soberness in the American air, my future was in God’s hands and no terrorist could steal it.

Our days became more relaxed as I resisted those deceiving perfectionist demons. So what if I sat on the floor playing blocks with my three year old while rehearsing spelling words with my first grader as my elementary school kids read or did math? So what if a cup of milk spilled on the floor in the middle of a history lesson? 

I breathed easier once the noose of perfectionism was gone. 

No matter what type of labor makes up your day, make sure that you are not trying to live up to a standard that makes you driven, harsh, worried, or stressed out. I know that there are professional environments that are "dog-eat-dog", but ask yourself, is the pressure worth your health and joy?

We all need to ask ourselves, "What are we trying to prove and to whom?"  As long as we are doing whatever the Lord had put on our agenda, then we can rest that he will help us and guide us and make up for any way that we fall short.

Lord, help us cast our cares on you. Remind us daily that your yoke is easy and your burden is light. Show us burdens that we've mistakenly picked up. Make us creative and innovative people, that can realize when we need to do something differently so that our wheels won't keep spinning. Help us remember that the only shoes we need to fill are our own. Thank you Lord for your constant care. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Accused or Excused? Book 2 of God On Trial Series

Have you ever started watching a murder mystery in the middle of the program?  Trying to determine what’s going on can be so confusing especially if you turn it on during a fight scene. You can’t tell who is the good guy or the bad guy. Perhaps you overheard a short conversation between characters before turning to watch the fight scene. You can end up having to choose a side based on a snippet of a conversation.  Depending on the characterization, you can end feeling sorry for the bad guy.  

What if you become glad that a feature character got hurt, not realizing that it was the good guy. Your friends might look at you oddly and say, “Why are you so excited?  That was the good guy!”  If you become really engrossed without knowing the back story, then your emotions will be mixed up.  

If you are like me, you’ll ask your companions to press pause and explain what you missed or you'll just leave and decide to watch it another time from the beginning.

Becoming a Christian or opening up the Bible is very similar to walking into a movie in the middle of a scene.  Many people come to church and hear brief snippets about God such as “God loves you! God wants the best for you!  Come to Jesus! God is all powerful! He will take care of you!” However, when you look around or watch the news, all you see is destruction and heart ache.  Any reasonable person would have to question the statements about God.  I would!  In fact, I did. This is why I chose to write these books. 

If I had to give the one minute version of the history of Christianity, this is how it would read:  God made the world and everybody in it.  God made them perfect.  The man and the woman disobeyed God.  “Sin” entered the world.  People began to do bad things on a regular basis.  To save Mankind, God sent His Son into this world. The Son of God was named Jesus. He became a man and gave up his God powers temporarily. He was falsely accused by His own people. He was brutally beaten and tortured and killed. He rose again from the dead. Because of His death, God is “allowed” to forgive sins now. Those who believe these facts become “born again or saved”.  We die and go to a place called Heaven. Heaven is God’s home.  The end.

Come on. Seriously! Reasonable people are expected to believe this?  First of all, if God is all powerful, then why in the world wouldn’t he just obliterate sin?  Who is going to tell Him, “No, you can’t do that?”.  Why wouldn’t he just obliterate people that opposed him? He’s God, for goodness sakes!!!  It appears that this Christian God doesn’t use his power very well. Who could possibly make the decision to allow his son to be killed by torture, to save bad people? Why did God make this decision? 

Wow!  If I were God, I’m not sure I would have decided that my son would ever die for anyone.  Let’s think about this. God makes the rules and he decided that the death of his son had to be a part of the rules. Any reasonable person would have to ask why. 

Suffice to say, this Christian religion is not the easiest to accept logically. Now I can see why faith is so important. Stay tuned for more.

Now Available:

To read excerpts, click here

Book One of 3-part God On Trial Series

Bad words and Good words

As a Christian, I'm pretty nick-picky about the use of words. The Bible says that death and life are in the power of the tongue. Writers everywhere know that we have the power to influence minds. The question is do we influence minds for good or for evil?

We are in an age where worldviews clash. The moral compass of society is by and large based on relativism. Christian writers of every genre decide for themselves how to navigate through this war zone as they promote their books. It's not always easy.

A reader on a website commented that my book, Abba's Lament (formerly called Before The Beginning) was blasphemous and heretical. I didn't mind, because as I read the comments I realized that even among Christians, there are a variety of interpretations of scripture, and some Christians just don't believe that the Bible should be used as a plot for a Christian fantasy fiction--even speculative fiction.

My question is: do our plots and characters uplift, or do they undermine God's word?

In my high school home school literature classes, I used to ask my students: "Does culture influence literature, or does literature influence culture?"  The students learned about both historical and literary eras and the worldviews that weaved in and out of those time periods. At the end of the year, the students concluded that the answer was that both influence each other.

Christian writers can change culture over time. We are in this world, but we are not of this world. Death and life are in the power of the tongue...and in the tool of the pen.

As a parent, teacher, and author, I want to edify people. Doug and I taught our children that name-calling was not allowed. From a young age, they learned to pay attention to the words they speak to themselves and to others. I would never call my son a "bad" boy. How dare I assign that identity to him! He is a boy that did a bad thing, but his identity is defined by his relationship to God. My current work in progress, No Road Too Long, tells the story of Maggie, an unbelieving college graduate, and it has been interesting developing her character in a way that makes her "real and contemporary" especially since my books will always be PG-13 or under. I do not want to undermine God's word even when developing a character. Writers have the power to cultivate culture. No matter what the plot, we have the ability to weave in the revelation of a good God. Readers can be propelled by a renewed sense of divine purpose and significance through books that uplift the Book.

The human heart can be revived by the power of the rhema of God, but culture must be reformed by the good words and good actions of revived hearts.

Surviving Parenthood

Lately I've been thinking about parenting. That statement is kinda funny since I have six children between the ages of 22 and 2 and all of them still live with us (except for #2 who went away for college...but he'll be home during the summer) -- so really, parenting is a constant in my life. Despite that, it is a topic that is worthwhile for me to meditate on from time to time.

Through relationships, those of us who have been parents for awhile mentor our younger friends. We look at them chasing their toddlers or scolding their tweens for reading under the covers at night instead of sleeping. We smile and we understand their frustrations, their anxieties and their petitions for perseverance. Yes, parenting takes a lot of perseverance.

 In 2030, when my youngest is 18, I will have raised children from birth to that age for 36 years. As a home schooling mom, I will have taught almost all academic subjects for all grades for not just my own kids, but a few others. Whew! The thought makes me tired....and grateful for the opportunity and the memories. I do love my kids and despite the pubescent bouts of "I forgot to do my homework again", I do love teaching them.

I started my journey into the world of writing because of the topic of God as Father. My husband had been leading a family bible study and we sojourned into the land of Ezekiel 28 --- where God laments the departure, destruction and demise of a son He called Daystar or Lucifer which is Greek for Light Bearer.
Understanding the emotions and manner of God not just Creator, but as a Father --- a parental figure, our eternal relative -- a role that we know is so important to Him since Jesus came to introduce us to His Father: Abba, helped me understand how to better parent my own children.

In my book, Abba's Lament, Abba continues to pursue Daystar until it is evident that Daystar will not repent. That longing for renewed relationship reminds me of the father of the prodigal son, who kept looking out across the valley in the hopes that his son would return. "Is a lost child ever forgotten, when the departure was the child’s, not the father’s? " (Part II, Abba's Lament)

As a parent, no matter what our children do, it is natural, no, it is godly to wait for them, to long for them, to take hold of perseverance and wait for them to reverse their waywardness or resume communication, or come home.  As our children mature and begin to 'own' their Christian faith, we become not only their cheerleaders but their team mates who sit on the bench and watch them drive around the opposition in order to score a few points in a "game" that lasts a lifetime. As a parent, we are always for them, not against them.

Parenting takes perseverance and patience. That truth inevitably makes me turn my gaze upward and think of my own journey as a child of God and my relationship to my heavenly Daddy. How patient He is with me! How He persevered when I was a young Christian, zealous but ignorant. Truly, I had no clue, but His steering hand gently redirected my path so that I would always end up on His lap, in good times and in bad.

As I grew older, I became convinced that my Father in Heaven loved and adored me, despite my frailties. This is because as my children were born....I could understand this love and adoration for one's offspring -- no matter what they did!  .

Now, let me change course for a second. Do I believe in godly discipline? Yes. Do I believe in tough love? Definitely. But I must understand the Father's demonstration of "tough" love. I must understand what the Bible teaches about discipline for our kids depending on age and stage. Our heavenly Father certainly does not enable bad behavior...what He does is to allow earthly consequences to teach us. Always with us, He waits for us to cling to Him. This clinging is restorative. Forgiveness is healing. We cannot change ourselves. Wholeheartedly receiving His grace and kindness brings forth lasting change.

So whenever any of my children have needed and received "tough" love, my husband and I have never refused to also extend tenderness, availability, encouragement and direction. In those tough times, they need boundaries and biblical training from a parent whose demeanor is compassionate and gentle, not overbearing and critical. The Bible says that "loving kindness leads to repentance" (a change of mind, an about-face). Yelling will only make a child resentful, fearful and angry. Those emotions kill relationship.

Parenting isn't easy, but it is made easier when we take a moment and reflect on our Heavenly Father whom Jesus reflected in everything that He said and did. Sometimes we find that we see Jesus and the Father very differently and hopefully we realize that our image of the Father needs tweaking. Jesus said, "If you see Me, you see the Father."

Our Father, our eternal parent, is SO loving, SO gentle, SO forgiving, SO instructive, SO patient, SO persevering. For those who are His children, purchased by the blood of His only begotten Son, He is a way-maker, the soul-anchor, an ever-present help, and a constant friend.  For those who've yet to receive His gracious gift of redemption, He is the Judge who awaits the convicted to receive His pardon.

Such love.

So my fellow Christian parents, if you ever feel like you don't have a mentor--look up. Be the child of God who can sit on our Heavenly Daddy's lap and say, "Teach me, I need help." And He will.

Holiday Book Deals!

Take time to curl up with a good book! 

Take advantage of Amazon BOGO through Kindle Matchbook.
(Buy paperback and get the ebook free!)

Our books are on sale through Dec. 7

SELAH: Daily Quotes for Daily Meditation, New devotional with thought-provoking quotes and passages. A great gift for the person who likes to contemplate life through the lens of the Bible. 

Ebook: http://www.amazon.com/Selah-Tina-Webb-ebook/dp/B00GW9F60W
Paperback:  http://www.amazon.com/Selah-Daily-Quotes-Meditation/dp/1493528114 

Through Kindle Matchbook, if you buy the paperback you'll get the ebook free!                                                                                             Keep one and give one as a gift.

Before The Beginning by T. Webb 

Full of suspense and action, my fantasy fiction novella tells the story before Adam.     Amazon Rating: 4.5 stars!

Review snippets:  "A spiritual thriller!", "wonderful and fast paced novella", "skillful execution of pacing and story telling." "descriptive, active, and thought provoking"

Description: The species of Homo sapiens created in Eden was unique….but not totally original. Heavenly beings resembling modern man had been created long before Adam, and some of them once lived on Earth. 

 Fear and violence destroy angelic beings who had only ever known peace and love. Helel names High Governess Atara the Queen of Heaven. Abba, the Creator, grieves. His eternal heart aches, then becomes angry. Anything that opposes His essence is named His enemy.   http://www.amazon.com/Before-The-Beginning-ebook/dp/B00EBUKVF4/  

Through Kindle Matchbook, if you buy the paperback you'll get the ebook free!  Keep one and give one as a gift.                                                   

 "I Was Framed!" Signed, God has received nothing but 5 star reviews. Read what some reviewers wrote:

"This sort of book is an important corrective to misuses of some cliches -- "God has His reasons" or "Everything happens for a reason" -- while digging into what's going on in these situations."

"What a great read! It grabs your attention with thought provoking questions and does not let go! Even at the end you want it to continue. Unlike some books with lots of scripture references, it does not become boring, it just continues to draw you in."

"I've always wanted to read a book like this one, and this one hit right on the mark. There were so many necessary truths about God that had been buried in my heart under a mountain of pain and disappointment, and this book reminded me of those truths. I encourage you to put on your detective cap and journey through some questions you may have asked in the secret place of your heart."   http://www.amazon.com/Was-Framed-Signed-Trial-Series-ebook/dp/B00FZ32CJE   

All of our titles are enrolled in Kindle Matchbook: 

For thousands of qualifying books, your past, present, and future print-edition purchases will soon allow you to buy the Kindle edition for $2.99, $1.99, $0.99, or free.

BOOK LAUNCH!

UPCOMING NEW RELEASE! JOIN ME FOR MY BOOK LAUNCH!

https://www.facebook.com/events/418670798258457/

Dec 1-4, 2013

I'm happy to host 6 great women as guest bloggers during the launch. Their topics will range from: the faithfulness of God, to their favorite scriptures, personal testimonies and other inspirational topics.  My daughter Maria, age 17, a home-schooler, will write a post about teens and faith.   An interview with my co-author, Sena Woodall R.N. will be featured and last, but not least, I will have a giveaway of our new release. It will be available on paperback and ebook.

Free eBook on Amazon!

My novel is FREE Friday, Oct 11 through Tuesday Oct 15!

Before The Beginning ebook by T. Webb

This fantasy fiction novelette has receive only 5 star reviews!   Reviews have said: "A spiritual thriller!", "wonderful and fast paced novella", "skillful execution of pacing and story telling."

Does God pursue to punish or to protect? This fantasy fiction novelette illustrates the original intentions of God towards the instigator of the heavenly rebellion: Helel Ben Shachar.  God is Love. Helel refuses Love and damns himself.  Abba (God) laments. “Can the sadness of rejected affection ever leave the memory of the One rejected?”Relentless to protect the innocent ones, Abba births justice and banishes Helel from His presence for eternity.

http://smarturl.it/BeforeTheBeginning

Never Alone

I am compelled, out of gratitude, to write a brief blog about the subject of community. Have you ever felt like you were thrown into an abyss of the "unknown" all by your lonesome?  I can relate. I'm thankful for the people God has put in my path to help me navigate through.

In my Christian circles, community has become a "coin" word as of late. The question that dictates that discussion is what does community in God's Kingdom on earth look like?

I'm learning the answer every day. As a new author, my answer is different than it used to be when I was caught up in my small home schooling and local church worlds. Now I'm navigating this previously unknown world of professional writing. I've watched it from afar for awhile. Author Lauralee Bliss and I have attended church together for decades. As I watched her write book after book, my own dream became more achievable for that "one day" when the time was right. New graphic novelist Matt McDowell who released Nephilites, is a few steps ahead of me in his exciting journey. We attended church together for awhile. Although he writes in a different genre, our plots both involve angels. Nope, I'm not alone. A local church is also where I met Author Precarious Yates, whom I knew as Sarah Rogers then Sarah Smith. At the time, I didn't realize how serious she was about writing! Our brief conversations were mostly about parenting, her past ministry work in Ireland and perhaps that Sunday's sermon. Years later, she's graciously begun to mentor me as a new author. I'm so grateful. My first introduction to the online community of Christian authors was through CrossReads, a site that connects readers and authors. Then social media opened the door to direct advice from fellow authors. This advice gave me my new marketing handbook, "Book Marketing For Beginners by Heather Hart. Hart encourages networking and forming relationships with other authors. I learned that seasoned authors regularly mentor new authors! Thank You God! I'm not in this alone. 

Although I'd never recommend forsaking the local for the virtual, both can provide encouragement, mentoring, accountability, and advice. Here's a shout-out to the helpful folks on CrossReads Authors FB page like Annie Douglass Lima, who pointed out that the all important comma needed to be inserted in the title of my husband's future non-fiction release! I also thank Kelly Hagin, who gave me the opportunity to do my first interview. When I was late in submitting interview information, due to my mommy duties, she quickly assured me that she too, was a mother, and understood. Nope, I'm not alone.

Despite my introverted personality, I'm learning that I can have a sense of community with people I'll likely never meet in person. This is a different type of community, but one just as God-given and necessary as my local community of friends. I guess it only makes sense with the new, but now normal, world of cyberspace.

I thought professional writing would be a dog-eat-dog world. But it's not. There are some good people out there. I thank God for them.