Do Our Kids See our Past or our Present?

         An excerpt from my work in progress: Ages and Stages: The Book

I learned that we always need healing from something. Whether it’s the dog that chased me down the street when I was five or whether I perceived that I was being rejected by a loved one, I need to regularly do an inventory of my heart. If I don’t, my family is bound to be affected by my wounded soul.

All of us reflect the environments and cultures in which we grew up and the relationships that made impressions on us. As children, we are blank mounds of clay shaped by other people. Every human being is like a chisel, intentionally or unintentionally making impressions into the souls of those around us. The Bible calls God the Potter, and as a Father, His desire is for all of us to be initially shaped by parents who reflect His character. But there is no person on earth that perfectly reflects God’s character. Even adults who had great childhoods are indented with impressions left by people or situations from their past.

We inherit talents as well as predispositions to specific thought patterns and behaviors. I didn’t grow up in a touchy-feely home and I always admired families that I saw that were affectionate. As a result, I made a conscious decision to be affectionate with my children as long as they would let me, which usually ended up being until the age of seven. The downside of this was that because affection wasn’t my natural inclination, except for the nightly kiss goodnight, my kids went without much human touch from age seven until eighteen or older. I found out later that as teenagers, they wondered why we weren’t an affectionate family. They missed it but were unable to ask for it!

This is where I’ve realized that as a parent I needed to learn more about how human beings are made by God to function. I needed to read books about child development as well as adolescence. I needed to remember the yearnings that I had as a teenager and realize that those yearnings were not individual to me, but normal for all people. Everybody wants a hug at some point, even the teenage male who thinks he has it all together.

One way that we can grow in our aptitude to give and receive love is by tackling the issues that put a stopper in our love wells. It takes courage, patience and trust in God to deal with the soul wounds of our past. In 1996 our marriage hit rough waters. Doug aptly described this time as "individual hurricanes colliding to form one massive storm". It wasn’t fun.

But it was a needed season of learning. Although as young Christians we read a lot of Christian books and recognized a few areas in our personal lives that needed healing, we had no idea that our souls were icebergs. All of us can be blind to the deep issues within.

In order to work on our marriage, we needed to address many of the unseen areas of our lives. This meant doing inventories of the rooms in our soul. Consider the soul the realm of the emotions, the mind: memories and thought processes, and the will. Faithful ministers in our local church and a wonderful ministry called Freedom in Christ, founded by Neil Anderson helped us through this stage of our marriage.

That same year we also had our third child. If we hadn't seized the courage to "go deep" within ourselves, be humble, receive counsel, and change by God's transforming power, we would have lived a miserable life together and our children would have suffered greatly. 

I write this twenty years later and every now and then I ask myself, "Do my kids see my past or my present?"  While too much introspection can be harmful, this question causes me to keep my ears open to the whispers of my heavenly Father who knows me unashamedly, sees me completely and loves me unconditionally.  Philippians 1:6b says: He who begun a good work in you will complete it...Yay! 

Oh, what would we do without our faithful God! He is our loving Potter! His hands are gentle and his ways are gracious. We do not have to ever fear going to him with our issues. Because of His cleansing blood, we can carry no shame, no weight, and no condemnation. What we don't see, he shows us when we ask. He'll carry us through the pain of bad memories and difficult seasons. He'll set us down at his throne of healing and restoration. He is a faithful parent who loves his kids!

A few books that were instrumental in not only helping me model our heavenly Father's parenting but also helped me overcome my own obstacles that were robbing my children of a emotionally healed mother were: Seven Longings of the Human Heart by Mike Bickle, The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman, Victory Over the Darkness by Neil Anderson, The Root of Rejection by Joyce Meyer. A wonderful book I've recently discovered about the power of memories and thoughts is Switch On Your Brain by Dr. Caroline Leaf

Thank you for taking the time to read. 

Lord Jesus, help us to be convinced of your love for us. We love you because 
you first loved us. You extend love to us even when we sin. Your love covers our sins. Your faithful love reaches down and helps us when we don't know how to help ourselves. Give us courage to see and remove the stoppers in our love wells. Our desire as parents and caregivers is to love well. Thank you God.

Slumps and Resurrected Vision

January is the time where many people celebrate newness. But what if you’re stuck in an old season? The reality is that the challenges of the past calendar year did not just go away at midnight on January 1^st.

While life’s seasons may not automatically be deleted in one minute, we can use the first few days of a new year to reassess, to ponder, to clarify vision or simply to see what is needed to move forward.

We never want to be needlessly stuck in an old rhythm, just because we can’t see what lies in our future.

Without a vision, the people perish.

Last September, I began to have a vision attack. Disappointment and discouragement set in because goals hadn’t been met. I grew blind. My passions were tossed aside because I just don’t like to waste my time if there is no promise of fruitfulness.

So I constantly prayed for God to show me what desires or dreams I had that were not for then or ever because I knew that sometimes childhood’s imagination can build fantastic adventures that have no borders. And while I was and am convinced that God plants seeds of destiny in our hearts while we are young, I knew that we see in part and it takes years of maturing to really discern the God-seed from the parent projected-seed or the fairytale-planted seed or the soulish seed that covets someone else’s destiny.

So my new “year” started way before Jan. 1, 2015 when I began to ask God to dismantle any vision that I had that was a mistake and birth His vision for how I am to spend my time and how much time to give to the passions that I know He put in my heart.

Oh my passions!

Most involve allowing the Creator to create through me: phrases, sounds, gardens, food, and the artistry of the home.
  

Oh my passions!

One book on the shelf: the plot is decided, over 60,000 words, but the falling action and resolution remain in my mind.

Another book just started, Ages and Stages: The Book, inspired by my blog series by that name. This one will be a soul journey as I write.
A series, part fantasy, part historical fiction: The Ages of Laus Perennis, which was started too many years ago…. (sigh)
So many songs lay in a drawer in the music room, done or in need of editing but my skill has maxed out.
The advice of my kids: “Buy a viola and play again!” but really kids, when?
A piano that calls me, but once I sit down, the warfare overcomes me.

Oh my passions!

Six children and a husband, house and yard that need seventeen hours of my day.
My spirit’s need to clutch heaven’s Heart every moment of every day, for this is what maintains my sanity.

I wake up each morning to a world that needs my tongue to pray and my hands to serve in whatever way.

My passionate list goes on...

I long for His presence to be known, experienced, celebrated…His name revered, adored…His heart kissed and understood, our worship of Him as extravagant as His love, and His world redeemed through the people that He calls His own. (selah)

I told my husband that my productive nature was feeling unfulfilled these days. Sometimes fruit takes too much time see. But like I said before, I want to make sure that I don’t waste my time on things that were never meant to be.

So that’s when it’s time to scale back on everything, except the necessities:
my family, household duties, and the God that maintains my sanity.

This is the ground in which He can plant or prune vision in me.

Jeremiah 29:11 

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Author Tina Webb

Visit my Amazon author page: http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00GDOJJ22

To purchase books: http://beforethebeginningbook.blogspot.com/p/book-info_2.html

New books!

Hi friends,

There is a lot of writing, editing and planning going on in my house these days! First, you can read my last post of free excerpts of my current work-in-progress, No Road Too Long. I'm still working on cover concepts.  

I hope to have it released mid-summer 2014.

I decided to add scenes to my debut Christian speculative novelette, Before The Beginning and ended up changing the name and the title. I'd love to get comments on the new title and cover.  Release date will be mid to late April 2014.

 

Finally, my husband Doug is almost finished with the second book in The God On Trial series, God: Accused or Excused?  If you have yet to read his first book, "I Was Framed!" Signed, God, you can find free excerpts on the Great Detectives Bible Topics tab on this blog site.

My daughter Maria, who did the photography for my book, Selah: Daily Quotes for Daily Meditation is working on her new photography blog and Facebook page. She has already been hired for local freelance portraits.

 Thanks for your comments and feedback!

BOOK LAUNCH!

UPCOMING NEW RELEASE! JOIN ME FOR MY BOOK LAUNCH!

https://www.facebook.com/events/418670798258457/

Dec 1-4, 2013

I'm happy to host 6 great women as guest bloggers during the launch. Their topics will range from: the faithfulness of God, to their favorite scriptures, personal testimonies and other inspirational topics.  My daughter Maria, age 17, a home-schooler, will write a post about teens and faith.   An interview with my co-author, Sena Woodall R.N. will be featured and last, but not least, I will have a giveaway of our new release. It will be available on paperback and ebook.

I love my Dad! by Doug Webb

My dad, Joseph Webb

The other day my cousin posted a picture of my dad.  It made me miss him so much.  He was such a great dad.  I tell people that my dad was like Bill Cosby.  My dad was also the assistant principal of a Junior High School and I learned he had another side to his personality.  When we would go out into public we would sometimes run into his former students.  They would all say the same thing. “Your dad was mean!”.   It would always shock me.  For one thing my dad would laugh and then the former student would laugh.  I wanted to punch them in the nose for calling my daddy “mean”!  They would later explain that my dad would “make” them go to class, do their homework, stop fighting, be respectful to the teachers, and have their parents be involved in their lives.  I thought to myself, that’s not “mean”.  My dad was trying to help you out. 

 

My other Dad is Jesus’ Dad!   To be honest I was afraid of Jesus’ Dad. You read the Old Testament and God is “mean” or so I thought.  Then I ran into this scripture.

 

John 14:7-10  (NKJV)  ⁷ “If you had known Me, you would have known My Father also; and from now on you know Him and have seen Him.”   ⁸ Philip said to Him, “Lord, show us the Father, and it is sufficient for us.”  ⁹ Jesus said to him, “Have I been with you so long, and yet you have not known Me, Philip? He who has seen Me has seen the Father; so how can you say, ‘Show us the Father’? ¹⁰ Do you not believe that I am in the Father, and the Father in Me?The words that I speak to you I do not speak on My own authority; but the Father who dwells in Me does the works.

Jesus was saying He is just like His Father.  My first thought was “NO WAY!”.  I pictured getting to heaven, and hiding behind Jesus as I talk to the Father.  I know it sounds terrible but when I think of the God of the Old Testament, He appears pretty ruthless, stoic, and mean.

So now I was challenged to believe Jesus’ words and change my view of the Father.  I pondered this.  The Father is just like Jesus.  Then I thought some more.  Jesus is actually saying He is like His FATHER!! Whoa!!??   How could that be possible?  Jesus is the good guy.  The Father has all this wrath and anger and you expect me to believe He’s the good guy too?!  

This is why I wrote my book.  I went in search of the Father’s heart and I have been on a mission to reconcile the Old Testament Father versus the Father we see in Jesus.  So I prayed.  “Lord, help me to see You the way Jesus sees You. I want the truth.”  

The depth of our entire relationship with God hinges on how you view His heart.  It will make or break you.  Now I was in the position of my dad’s former student’s and Jesus was in my position.  My new mission was to see the Father through Jesus' eyes, not mine.   

Me and my two oldest Chris and Christina

Never Alone

I am compelled, out of gratitude, to write a brief blog about the subject of community. Have you ever felt like you were thrown into an abyss of the "unknown" all by your lonesome?  I can relate. I'm thankful for the people God has put in my path to help me navigate through.

In my Christian circles, community has become a "coin" word as of late. The question that dictates that discussion is what does community in God's Kingdom on earth look like?

I'm learning the answer every day. As a new author, my answer is different than it used to be when I was caught up in my small home schooling and local church worlds. Now I'm navigating this previously unknown world of professional writing. I've watched it from afar for awhile. Author Lauralee Bliss and I have attended church together for decades. As I watched her write book after book, my own dream became more achievable for that "one day" when the time was right. New graphic novelist Matt McDowell who released Nephilites, is a few steps ahead of me in his exciting journey. We attended church together for awhile. Although he writes in a different genre, our plots both involve angels. Nope, I'm not alone. A local church is also where I met Author Precarious Yates, whom I knew as Sarah Rogers then Sarah Smith. At the time, I didn't realize how serious she was about writing! Our brief conversations were mostly about parenting, her past ministry work in Ireland and perhaps that Sunday's sermon. Years later, she's graciously begun to mentor me as a new author. I'm so grateful. My first introduction to the online community of Christian authors was through CrossReads, a site that connects readers and authors. Then social media opened the door to direct advice from fellow authors. This advice gave me my new marketing handbook, "Book Marketing For Beginners by Heather Hart. Hart encourages networking and forming relationships with other authors. I learned that seasoned authors regularly mentor new authors! Thank You God! I'm not in this alone. 

Although I'd never recommend forsaking the local for the virtual, both can provide encouragement, mentoring, accountability, and advice. Here's a shout-out to the helpful folks on CrossReads Authors FB page like Annie Douglass Lima, who pointed out that the all important comma needed to be inserted in the title of my husband's future non-fiction release! I also thank Kelly Hagin, who gave me the opportunity to do my first interview. When I was late in submitting interview information, due to my mommy duties, she quickly assured me that she too, was a mother, and understood. Nope, I'm not alone.

Despite my introverted personality, I'm learning that I can have a sense of community with people I'll likely never meet in person. This is a different type of community, but one just as God-given and necessary as my local community of friends. I guess it only makes sense with the new, but now normal, world of cyberspace.

I thought professional writing would be a dog-eat-dog world. But it's not. There are some good people out there. I thank God for them. 

Book Release!

http://www.amazon.com/Before-The-Beginning-ebook/dp/B00EBUKVF4/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1375723718&sr=1-1&keywords=before+the+beginning.

Here's the link to my newly released book, Before The Beginning!  Woo Hoo!  (Coming soon on BN Nook too!)