What really matters?

My Unedited Journal, March 1

Recently, while driving to an appointment, one of my older kids and I were discussing the roots of anger. The crux of our discussion centered on household pet peeves. The “little things” that people did or didn’t do in regards to our house “rules” had formed a mountain of angst that had begun to affect my child’s demeanor and tone of voice.

After asking some open-ended questions and listening to the answers, I remembered a phrase that had helped me overcome my own frequent bouts of frustration and aggravation.

Why does it matter?

Years ago I’d realized that I too was majoring on the little things when it came to house “rules” and this focus was affecting my peace and more importantly my relationships with various members of my family. 

Why did it really matter if someone left their towel on the floor again?
Why did it really matter if someone forgot to do a chore, spilled milk again, or put the carton of juice back in the refrigerator when it only had an ounce left?

In the grand scheme of things, these pet peeves were….petty.

I explained to this child that my angst had to do with inconvenience. I didn’t want to be inconvenienced by another person’s lack of attentiveness to our house “rules”.

But life happens and inconveniences will never go away.

Life isn’t fair and frankly, as a teenager I learned that the idea of fairness is an allusion.

I explained to my child that what began to matter more than the inconvenient habits of family members was my relationship with those same family members.

I was responsible for my attitude towards them just as Jesus is responsible for his attitude towards the law-breaker. The Bible says that Jesus did not come to condemn them, but to invite them into empowering and life-giving relationship with Him.

I shared that the more I focused on God’s love for me, the more I cared about the little things that I did that hindered my relationship with Him. No matter what I did, big or little, God never withdrew from me. It’s like in the Garden of Eden. Although Adam hid in his sin, God the Father came to find him.  God always pursues us even when we break His house “rules”.

So now, no matter what infringement to the orderliness of the household, no matter how many times someone forgets the “simple” requests that I make, no matter how many times they leave their bedroom light on all day, I make sure that any quick frustration that comes up is dissipated by my desire to keep peace and harmony flowing between me and the offender. This doesn’t mean that the offender doesn’t get a consequence. For example, I have a mason jar in which my kids have to put a dollar if I find their bedroom light on for more than 30 minutes when they are sitting somewhere else in the house. With a big family, our electric bill can get sky high! This has proven to be a successful deterrent. I am no longer angry or aggravated when I address the particular child. I simply remind them of the consequence.

When the cup of water spills on the table for the second day in a row due to a younger child’s carelessness, I take a breath, remember their age, and remind myself that I am still training them to be aware and careful. The inconvenient timing of the spill should not determine my demeanor and interaction with them. With every infraction, I want to model God, who continues to pursue our hearts with kindness, even when consequences (like giving them a paper towel and showing them how to wipe up their mess) must be meted out.

Peter denied Jesus three times. Yet Jesus pursued Peter in his shame not to accuse him or berate him, but to affirm and reestablish him as his disciple. Maintaining relationship is what matters to Jesus.

Accused or Excused? Book 2 of God On Trial Series

Have you ever started watching a murder mystery in the middle of the program?  Trying to determine what’s going on can be so confusing especially if you turn it on during a fight scene. You can’t tell who is the good guy or the bad guy. Perhaps you overheard a short conversation between characters before turning to watch the fight scene. You can end up having to choose a side based on a snippet of a conversation.  Depending on the characterization, you can end feeling sorry for the bad guy.  

What if you become glad that a feature character got hurt, not realizing that it was the good guy. Your friends might look at you oddly and say, “Why are you so excited?  That was the good guy!”  If you become really engrossed without knowing the back story, then your emotions will be mixed up.  

If you are like me, you’ll ask your companions to press pause and explain what you missed or you'll just leave and decide to watch it another time from the beginning.

Becoming a Christian or opening up the Bible is very similar to walking into a movie in the middle of a scene.  Many people come to church and hear brief snippets about God such as “God loves you! God wants the best for you!  Come to Jesus! God is all powerful! He will take care of you!” However, when you look around or watch the news, all you see is destruction and heart ache.  Any reasonable person would have to question the statements about God.  I would!  In fact, I did. This is why I chose to write these books. 

If I had to give the one minute version of the history of Christianity, this is how it would read:  God made the world and everybody in it.  God made them perfect.  The man and the woman disobeyed God.  “Sin” entered the world.  People began to do bad things on a regular basis.  To save Mankind, God sent His Son into this world. The Son of God was named Jesus. He became a man and gave up his God powers temporarily. He was falsely accused by His own people. He was brutally beaten and tortured and killed. He rose again from the dead. Because of His death, God is “allowed” to forgive sins now. Those who believe these facts become “born again or saved”.  We die and go to a place called Heaven. Heaven is God’s home.  The end.

Come on. Seriously! Reasonable people are expected to believe this?  First of all, if God is all powerful, then why in the world wouldn’t he just obliterate sin?  Who is going to tell Him, “No, you can’t do that?”.  Why wouldn’t he just obliterate people that opposed him? He’s God, for goodness sakes!!!  It appears that this Christian God doesn’t use his power very well. Who could possibly make the decision to allow his son to be killed by torture, to save bad people? Why did God make this decision? 

Wow!  If I were God, I’m not sure I would have decided that my son would ever die for anyone.  Let’s think about this. God makes the rules and he decided that the death of his son had to be a part of the rules. Any reasonable person would have to ask why. 

Suffice to say, this Christian religion is not the easiest to accept logically. Now I can see why faith is so important. Stay tuned for more.

Now Available:

To read excerpts, click here

Book One of 3-part God On Trial Series

Slumps and Resurrected Vision

January is the time where many people celebrate newness. But what if you’re stuck in an old season? The reality is that the challenges of the past calendar year did not just go away at midnight on January 1^st.

While life’s seasons may not automatically be deleted in one minute, we can use the first few days of a new year to reassess, to ponder, to clarify vision or simply to see what is needed to move forward.

We never want to be needlessly stuck in an old rhythm, just because we can’t see what lies in our future.

Without a vision, the people perish.

Last September, I began to have a vision attack. Disappointment and discouragement set in because goals hadn’t been met. I grew blind. My passions were tossed aside because I just don’t like to waste my time if there is no promise of fruitfulness.

So I constantly prayed for God to show me what desires or dreams I had that were not for then or ever because I knew that sometimes childhood’s imagination can build fantastic adventures that have no borders. And while I was and am convinced that God plants seeds of destiny in our hearts while we are young, I knew that we see in part and it takes years of maturing to really discern the God-seed from the parent projected-seed or the fairytale-planted seed or the soulish seed that covets someone else’s destiny.

So my new “year” started way before Jan. 1, 2015 when I began to ask God to dismantle any vision that I had that was a mistake and birth His vision for how I am to spend my time and how much time to give to the passions that I know He put in my heart.

Oh my passions!

Most involve allowing the Creator to create through me: phrases, sounds, gardens, food, and the artistry of the home.
  

Oh my passions!

One book on the shelf: the plot is decided, over 60,000 words, but the falling action and resolution remain in my mind.

Another book just started, Ages and Stages: The Book, inspired by my blog series by that name. This one will be a soul journey as I write.
A series, part fantasy, part historical fiction: The Ages of Laus Perennis, which was started too many years ago…. (sigh)
So many songs lay in a drawer in the music room, done or in need of editing but my skill has maxed out.
The advice of my kids: “Buy a viola and play again!” but really kids, when?
A piano that calls me, but once I sit down, the warfare overcomes me.

Oh my passions!

Six children and a husband, house and yard that need seventeen hours of my day.
My spirit’s need to clutch heaven’s Heart every moment of every day, for this is what maintains my sanity.

I wake up each morning to a world that needs my tongue to pray and my hands to serve in whatever way.

My passionate list goes on...

I long for His presence to be known, experienced, celebrated…His name revered, adored…His heart kissed and understood, our worship of Him as extravagant as His love, and His world redeemed through the people that He calls His own. (selah)

I told my husband that my productive nature was feeling unfulfilled these days. Sometimes fruit takes too much time see. But like I said before, I want to make sure that I don’t waste my time on things that were never meant to be.

So that’s when it’s time to scale back on everything, except the necessities:
my family, household duties, and the God that maintains my sanity.

This is the ground in which He can plant or prune vision in me.

Jeremiah 29:11 

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Author Tina Webb

Visit my Amazon author page: http://www.amazon.com/-/e/B00GDOJJ22

To purchase books: http://beforethebeginningbook.blogspot.com/p/book-info_2.html

The Slow Simmer of Grace

Chris Webb is a 20 year old senior at Virginia Commonwealth University majoring in Criminal Justice. He enjoys leading his Chi Alpha small group, watching movies, and reading books that enrich his faith.  In his recent blog post"The Goodness of the Lord in the Land of the Living" from This Mortal Body Has Grown Weak, I Need Sustenance, he writes: "my academic achievement had done nothing to address my deep-seated insecurities" and how gaining a true understanding of God's grace changed his life. Currently, he is working on his first crime fiction series.


When I started attended my community college four years ago I had one goal: graduate with a 4.0 (and thereby with a better GPA than my older sister, cause I had pride issues like that). I studied day and night, and outside of one classmate and playing a final year of high school basketball (which I was doing for very limited and selfish reasons), I didn’t really have a social life.  

Freshman year ended with a net total of 11 A’s, two new friends, lots of sleep deprivation and stress, as well as a second place finish in the HSPN East Coast championship game that led me to not pick up a basketball for months. I had obtained my academic goal (for a year) with rigorous self-effort but I had no joy.

My sophomore year, I was vice president of the Christian Student Fellowship at my community college (because that’s what extremely successful christian students do) and I continued to collect as many A’s as possible. I succeeded. To the outside, I was the poster child of success but my academic achievement had done nothing to address my deep-seated insecurities. I felt like a hypocrite because I was a Christian that struggled with addiction and couldn’t beat it with willpower (all you perfectionists know how much that sucks). I knew facts about God but I couldn’t have told you who He was to me. All I could do was obtain good grades and even that failed me when I didn’t get a full ride to VCU like I thought I deserved. 

God was distant, my athletic goals had gone up in flames, and when it came to the area of relationships it seemed the universe was conspiring against me. But God had a plan.

Fast forward to today. Getting me to stress about school is like trying to get me to go swing dancing (as in really, really hard). I have the closest group of friends I’ve ever had in my life and God and I talk everyday (I still do 75% of the talking but hey, progress is progress). I still have a 4.0 but I now understanding that it’s a blessing from God that He was generous enough to give me because I asked for it, not something I “earned” because I was smarter than everybody else.  

I’m still single (despite my best efforts) but I’ve had weeks where I truly understood what it means to experience a peace that transcends all understanding.

What caused this radical change, you ask? Grace. Gaining a true understanding of what God’s grace really is and what it means for me. It means that God loves me independent of anything I’ve ever done, am doing, or will do--a revolutionary discovery for me! It means that I have God’s unmerited favor impacting every area of life just because I’m His son and I’ve been adopted into His family. It means I’m greatly blessed, highly favored, and deeply loved. It means that I’m a successful person simply because God is with me. It means I’m holy, just, and good, not because of what I do but because I’m a new creation in Christ.

Now, this change didn’t just happen overnight. As I’ve learned, when God uses his grace to change you, it works really, really, REALLY, slow. But when grace changes you, it’s permanent. It starts with changing how you think waaaaaaay before it changes how you act.

Some of you might be wondering why I decided to share this in a public forum. Well, Proverbs 13:12 says “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, But when the desire comes, it is a tree of life”. Up until recently, I could only relate to the first part of this scripture; I was an expert in heart sickness, because I had it. But now, even though many of my hopes are still deferred, I’ve seen desire come and it truly is a tree of life.

I know far too well, what rock bottom looks like: despair, doubt, fear, anxiety, stress, shame, the whole nine yards. I have been intimately acquainted with them. You might think I can’t relate to what you’re going through or have gone through, and you’re right to some extent. I may not be able to relate to the details of your story because it’s your story. But trust me on this, when it comes to the aforementioned emotions…I get it. I wish I didn’t…but I do. 

I just want everyone to know that hope is out there, and you can always find it in Jesus. I know the change I experienced was not of myself because I tried changing myself for years and it didn’t work. If effort and hard work were the only factors, I would have done it (trust me, I have the Upwards Basketball Program blue stars to prove it). My problems seemed insurmountable, but to God they were like grains of sand. He is SO much bigger than anything we’ll ever come up against! He’s the beginning, middle, and end of my story and without him I am nothing.

Now, to be clear, I don’t act perfectly and I’ve not yet learned the breadth, and length, and depth, and height of God’s love for me (although I know much more than I used to). I don’t expect what I’ve written to change anyone’s life, because honestly, it wouldn’t have changed mine based on where I was four years ago. But here’s my hope: that in reading this, at least one person will come to a sense of peace about where they are in life, warts in all. If even one person reads this and comes away with a sense of relief that they aren’t responsible for changing themselves, it will have been worth it. No, the change won’t be instantaneous and yes, you’ll still struggle with stuff a lot longer than you think you should, but it’s OKAY. God has you and when God has you, EVERYTHING will be okay. As I end, I just want to leave you with this: In regards to Christianity, it’s not about what you do, it’s about "whose" you are. So "whose" are you?

 Philippians 1:6 “I thank my God upon every remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine making request for you all with joy, for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ”.

Psalm 27:13-14

“I would have lost heart, unless I had believed
That I would see the goodness of the Lord
In the land of the living.

¹⁴ Wait on the Lord;
Be of good courage,
And He shall strengthen your heart;
Wait, I say, on the Lord!”

Pause and Think...

Below are new excerpts from the nonfiction devotional, Selah: Daily Quotes for Daily Meditation, co-written with my best friend. The Hebrew word, selah, means "to pause and think about".

The book is meant to give readers a nugget-- a thought that compels them to think deeper about a biblical concept.

I often pick a copy off of my shelf and browse through the months until something catches my eye. My usual reaction is: "I needed to read this today".

I'm casually working on a new edition that will make Selah more of a standard devotional than a book of brief original, yet Biblically-inspired quotable phrases. The new version will hopefully include many of the pins that are found in that tab on this site.

Here are a few excerpts from the month of January.

The goodness of God is defined as kind, cordial, benevolent, tenderhearted, and full of good towards mankind. All in all, His unfailing attitude towards all mortal beings is open, friendly, and inclined to give blessings. He takes holy pleasure in the happiness of His children.

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11

How do we reconcile God’s benevolence towards mankind with the calamity, disease, and war so rampant in our time? If God has thoughts of peace towards us, then why do we face times of personal chaos?

Scriptures like Ephesians 6:12, 1 John 3:8, and Romans 8: 1-6 present answers to these questions. The reality of evil, propagated by the devil and his demons, and the condition of sin in mankind are not ignored by God, rather He offers victory to those who believe in the crucifixion and resurrection of His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ.  His orientation towards mankind is compassionate, for only a loving God would care enough to take on the flesh of man in order to offer man a way out of earthly darkness and eternal punishment. Certainly, the negatives we face are the consequences of living in a fallen world, where some people are still trapped and destroyed by their spiritual blindness. Blessed are those whose eyes are opened.

-------

We yearn to trust implicitly. We crave the security in knowing that someone loves us enough never to hurt us. That someone is God. (Psalm 143:10)

Romance novels have a huge audience. Our God given yearning for the security of a safe and intimate relationship finds satisfaction within the seductive covers of this genre. Despite the momentary relief that fictional fantasy offers, real life winks at us when the book is finished.

Allusion suppresses the real pain and loneliness that so many people carry. Those that find God and learn how to lean on His invisible bosom find the comfort, safety, and security that no human being or book can truly offer.

-------

Matthew 27:12 says “And while He was being accused by the chief priests and elders, He answered nothing.” Why did Jesus stay silent? Why didn’t he defend himself?

How does a man who has healed, delivered, brought happiness and provided food for multitudes defend himself when his deeds are already known by the accusers and are the very thing they find offensive?

He doesn’t. The blind can’t see or understand anyway. The Bible calls them darkened in their understanding. (Ephesians 4:18)

As far as the redeemed, no matter how often the serpent from the Garden of Eden lies to us about our heavenly Father, we must belief only what He says about himself in Scripture. Our daily experiences, some frustrating and some sorrowful, cannot define God. We must allow our good God to define them.

Fall into Books: Sales

FALLING LEAVES, FALLING PRICES

Clean Indie Reads, the home of Flinch-Free Fiction, is having a Fall Sale
October 5 thru October 10!

Check out each author's sale items below by clicking on their name.

To celebrate, we are having a blog hop where you can learn more about  our authors and their books.

Our bloggers will also be answering the question:

Do the changing seasons influence your writing and/or choice of books to read?

Readers, We'd love you to join this discussion! Feel free to comment on any blog.

From Author Tina Webb:

Hot spiced cider simmers on the stove. I lean against the wall and yawn, still trying to brush off the morning grog. Outside my kitchen window, a few yellow leaves fall to their final resting place on the ground. Autumn is full of color and smells, varying temperatures and delightfully warm desserts. Inspiration comes easily when my senses are fully stimulated. 

While summer is busy with kid activities and DIY projects, autumn provides me a canvas on which my schedule is fixed and therefore time to write comes more easily.

As far as my reading list, it is determined by the books that our home school curriculum has on the syllabus. This year I'm teaching American Literature. The Legend of Sleep Hollow will be followed by short stories by Edgar Allen Poe for this month.

While I love summer - beaches, day trips, and watermelon, there is nothing like snuggling in a fleece blanket while classical or jazz music plays quietly in the background, as the cider simmers and a compelling plot lies at my fingertips.

Thanks for visiting the Clean Indie Reads Blog Hop. Below you will find my featured item as well as links to the other sites on this blog tour. Some authors are offering free giveaways. We appreciate your interest! Book reviews are always very appreciated.
Enjoy your Fall! -Tina

THE FALL INTO BOOK SALE

Readers enter the realm of pre-Adamic Earth -- its unblemished natural splendor, magnificently constructed edifices and its first tenants, celestial beings commissioned by Abba, the Creator to develop this wondrous world. Time is taken to paint such a utopian world. The reader must understand the enormity of what is stolen in order to grieve with the friends that are betrayed and the God who is forsaken. Ironically Daystar’s insecure thoughts are easily empathized with, but when the brutality of sin mutilates the innocent and destroys now-tainted Earth, we solemnly applaud Abba’s fiery anger in the face of evil.
As the book concludes, the evacuation of those who remain loyal to Abba and the brutal destruction of beautiful Earth shouts defeat until Abba announces a plan. http://www.amazon.com/Abbas-Lament-Tina-Webb-ebook/dp/B00EBUKVF4/

“It's a wondrous world you've constructed, w/ the visuals woven in like they are characters” 

 "An excellent book!" "I've not read anything like it before!"

On Sale only on these sites:

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/433838

http://www.amazon.com/Abbas-Lament-Tina-Webb-ebook/dp/B00EBUKVF4/

Paperback only $6.99 on Amazon

Clean Indie Reads Blog Hop Schedule
(please note: not all bloggers will be offering giveaways):

Schedule

October 5:

Linda Covella

Mary Ellen Bramwell

Tina Webb

Logan Crowe

October 6:

Tara Fairfield

Barbara A. Martin

Christina Lorenzen

Shanna Hatfield

October 7:

Sally Sue Fleischmann Ember

Chrystal Lynn Miles Gauthier

Zelda Benjamin

October 8:

Kelley Crandall

Jennifer Pitkin

Mari Barnes

October 9:

Sharon Skretting

James DiBenedetto

Melanie Snitker

October 10:

Felicia Rogers

Ruth O’Neil

Debbie Brown

October 11:

Faith Blum

Kristin Wallace

Elizabeth Kaiser

http://lindacovella.com/events-news/clean-indie-reads-fall-sale/

Disclaimer: Comment by 11:59:59 PM Central time on October 10, 2014 for your chance to win. Please leave your email address with your comment. Winners will be contacted by the blog owner by October 13, 2014. Only one entry per ISP address. The contest is open to international readers unless stated by the blog owner. No purchase necessary to enter. Odds of winning depend on number of entries received. The giveaway is the sole responsibility of the blogger. Clean Indie Reads is in no way responsible for providing prizes during this blog hop. Void where prohibited

Blog Posts on GraceNFaith4U

I have had the privilege of writing a few blog posts for http://graceandfaith4u.com/.  I’d like to share these posts with you.

In My Tear Stained Shoulder, I share my faith journey supporting my unmarried best friend who had waiting for “the one” for many years.

“Not long ago I sat on her couch, my arm around her shoulder, as she wept. The longing for marriage never left her. It only succumbed to temporary band-aids of divine longsuffering. My shoulder had been drenched with her tears many, many times. This time was no different. I sat and comforted her with my presence, my arm and my silence.”

A month before this post, she met a guy and I’m happy to say that the wedding was Sept 5, 2014. http://graceandfaith4u.com/posts/my-tear-stained-shoulder-by-tina-webb-2/

My guest post, Light The Way, discusses our internal cry when life puts new situations and challenges before us and our fears beg us to retreat into our comfort zones.

“Although our fears beckon us to stay put in places or seasons of comfort and security, we have a divine mandate for progress. We must not sit idly allowing our souls to stagnate with the familiar. We are made to venture into the unknown”. 

http://graceandfaith4u.com/posts/light-the-way-by-tina-webb/

The post features the single “Light The Way” by Calie Garrett and City Church Worship. Available on ITunes:    

My third post, Reflection: Would God Endorse My Books? highlights the challenge of Christian writers to allow the content of their work to be culturally relevant without compromising their God-centered conscience. In reality, when looking at the whole canon of Scripture, a writer realizes that:

 “The Bible has all sorts of stories with all sorts of ratings. However, they all have one thing in common- they reflect the opinion of God on a subject. Consider the Song of Solomon in the Old Testament. Paragraphs in this poetic book would make some of you blush. There are underlying meanings to certain passages that would be given an R rating according to our standards today.”

http://graceandfaith4u.com/posts/reflections-would-god-endorse-my-books-by-tina-webb/

Survival: A Literary Theme and Present Day Reality presented the timely subject of survival in a global environment of war, pandemics, and economic instability. As a child and teenager I was always attracted to books whose characters struggled to either stay alive or not have their sense of purpose and identity stolen by a community that stressed conformity. Whether the setting is Europe during the Holocaust, the volatile Jim Crow South, or an island in the Caribbean, these books speak to “our human need for death to be overcome by life, struggle to be overcome by victory, and weakness to be overcome by strength.”

“…there is also a foreboding in my soul as I watch the news about Iraqi Christians, African children abandoned by mothers dying of Aids or taken by rampaging militants. Sometimes I quickly turn my ears when I hear people talk about food storage and emergency preparedness. Yet I remember 9-11 and the plots of my youth.”

Click here to read post: http://graceandfaith4u.com/posts/survival-a-literary-theme-and-present-day-reality-by-tina-webb/

I hope you enjoy these articles. Please take time to read the other posts on http://graceandfaith4u.com/ by other wonderful writers.