Reflections: Would God Endorse My Books? by Tina Webb

Fellow Christian writers, would God endorse your books? This is my guest post for http://graceandfaith4u.com/ a great site for authors and readers.

To read post: http://graceandfaith4u.com/posts/reflections-would-god-endorse-my-books-by-tina-webb/

Ages and Stages Part 4 Mommy or Me: Who is 1st?

Mommy or Me: Who is first?

I think I was in my upper-twenties when the dawning occurred. "I" had become lost in the role of “Mommy”. The decision to be a stay-at-home mom cost us financially but rewarded us with the certainty that we could completely oversee our children’s formative years and we could home educate them, teaching each subject according to a Biblical worldview.

Sure, I loved strolling to the playground, attending story-time at the library, and visiting friends 3-4 times per week. But I also loved writing, playing the piano, and learning whatever I could about God.

I never wanted to forsake my "personhood" for the roles that I’ve been blessed with. As much as being a wife and mother delighted me, I knew that I had been endowed by my Creator with certain gifts, talents and missions to accomplish while on this earth.

Some young mothers get caught in the cage of “I have no time for me.” Ladies, whether we work in the marketplace outside the home, from home or not at all, we have to make time for ourselves and I know it isn’t easy. I thank God for the friends that became like family. They encouraged me to nurture my interests even though my husband worked 80-90 hours per week back then.

Opportunities abounded. I joined the church worship band as a substitute pianist and background vocalist. Original bedtimes stories became the inspiration for a fiction series that I started called The Ages of Laus Perennis. My passion for prayer, teaching and personal ministry grew as my husband and I began to attend various East Coast conferences that equipped us for future roles within our local church.

2009

Many times I had to volunteer to host something in order to be a part, especially when there was no money for a babysitter. My kids would play quietly in their rooms or be in bed while a prayer meeting or bible study was going on, or the “baby at the time” would just sit on my lap.

I remember playing piano for a Baptist church, sitting my one year old daughter on my lap and teaching her to keep her hands on her thighs so that I could reach around her to play the piano. Since I had no babysitter I had to make it work.

You know the adage: “where there is a will there is a way.” Really, this is quite true. God wants us to enjoy life. Since He doesn’t want us to shrug off our key roles, He will show us how to juggle the duties of these roles with the wonderful interests, talents and missions that make us come alive. After all, He gave us those interests, talents and missions.

Don't get me wrong. I wouldn’t trade motherhood for the world! I’m a strong advocate of parental rights. I love having so many children and I love their wide age range. It isn’t always easy, but I applaud God for the choice He made for my life.

What opportunities are waiting for you? What doors are open but you haven’t noticed them? Being an author, intercessor, friend, gardener, DIY-er, home chef ( I LOVE to invent recipes), songwriter, worship musician, Castle TV show junkie, and home educator enables me to be fully me.

We are better parents when we give ourselves time and attention, not by neglecting our kids or spouses, but by heeding the wisdom of our Father.

Proverbs 4:23 Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flows the springs of life.

John 10:10 The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

Father, Your desire is to continually guide us, for our desire to be satisfied in scorched places, and for our bones to be strong; so that we will be like a watered garden. (Isaiah 58:11) As we faithfully fulfill our family roles and spend time with You, show us how to use every deposit that You’ve given us, that You may be glorified and we may be satisfied.

Potty or Parent Training: Part 3 of Ages and Stages

One would think that I am a potty-training expert since I have six children. Nope. My youngest, although he saw his four year old older brother go through this rite of passage a year ago, has no intention of using his potty.

Drew turned two in December. 
His adamant nature showed itself about two months ago. He has purposely aimed his “pee pee water” towards the tub drain hole only twice. He frowns at the Elmo toilet insert I bought. In his opinion, the other baby potty is only useful for standing on to brush his teeth. 

My other sons were closer to three years old when they decided that potty-trained was a worthwhile endeavor. I suppose I should be encouraged that at least Drew stands next to his four year old brother as he models the standing up option to relieve himself.

So although various cultural traditions, some experts and other daycare-attending toddlers prove that a 2 ½ year old boy can relinquish his disposables, pull-ups or cloth diapers to the world of No More, I’m just going to wait until he is willing. I’m not going to force the next stage of his life. It’ll come.

I share all this to say, I’ve come a long way as a parent. The toddler tantrums, the pubescent mood swings for both males and females, the whining, and even the dishes left in the sink by one of my legally adult children, don’t raise my frustration to 212 degrees in 2 seconds anymore.

My twenty year old son, Chris will start his senior year this Fall. He was the first one to actually “move out” and go to another city for college after two years at our local community college.  He is in the normal stage of desiring more respect. Here is a scene from early May:

(I turn the car off after arriving home from picking him up after final exams)
Me: You are driving tomorrow to town for our chiropractor appointment.
Him: (silence)
Me: (looking over)
Him: Could you ask me first?
Me: (putting a lid on my initial reaction) Well, before you drive my car around this summer, I want to ride with you one time. Plus I get tired of driving
Him: (nodding his head while holding in his own thought bubbles) I’d at least like to be asked, not told.
Me: But then you can say no, and I don’t want that. (a slight smile)
Him: This is true…
Me: (the "aha" moment happens. I read Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs so I know what men need...even sons) 
Me: Since I don’t want to give you the option of saying no, because I am still your mom and this is still my car, what about: I’d like you to drive tomorrow
Him: Yeah, that’s better.
Me: (shocked) Really?! So it’s just the wording?
Him: Yes.
Me: Okay, I’ll remember that. (The following silence echoes the conversations that he and I have had in the past year that have healed, restored and brought mutual understanding and a deeper appreciation of one another.)

I’m stepping into a new season of parenting adults. Pray for me!  However, this next stage will help the whole family put to practice all of the valuable teaching that we’ve obtained through Christian books on relationships, communication, emotional honesty, and gender differences. It will be a good summer.

So, since I’m done with some of my daily “author” work, I’m going to start on the summer chore schedule for my oldest four kids. How do you assign chores for teens and adults that have entirely different schedules and have the house in order the way you want it all the time????? LOL

My expectations are too high. I will forget my Better Homes and Gardens  fantasy and settle for maintaining basic neatness and cleanliness.  

Ecclesiastes 3

New King James Version (NKJV)

To everything there is a season,
A time for every purpose under heaven:

² A time to be born,
    And a time to die;
A time to plant,
    And a time to pluck what is planted;
³ A time to kill,
    And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
    And a time to build up;
⁴ A time to weep,
    And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
    And a time to dance;
⁵ A time to cast away stones,
    And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
    And a time to refrain from embracing;
⁶ A time to gain,
    And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
    And a time to throw away;
⁷ A time to tear,
    And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
    And a time to speak;
⁸ A time to love,
    And a time to hate;
A time of war,
    And a time of peace

Lord, help us know the times and seasons that You are ushering us into as fathers, mothers, daughters, sons and guardians.

Part 4: To be posted early July

Part 5: The End (late July)

Part 2: Ages and Stages

Who Holds the Trump Card: God or Me?

My 15 year old is a talented drummer, and loves to play basketball. It has been a rule that each child must play any instrument as well as two years of piano/basic theory which I can teach them myself. As a result, this son has played the drums for almost 7 years. He has taken to beat making, composing via midi, and sound engineering in the past year. Lessons in music theory have begun, however, I sense the Lord telling me to halt drum lessons for a year.

"Say what?!"

This is a perfect example of trusting God and not trumping my wants, rules, and traditions over God’s plans for my children. As far as the drum lessons, I have wondered: Why God? But it really doesn’t matter. For me this is Proverbs 3 to a "T".

Trust in the Lord with all of your heart; lean not to your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path. (Proverbs 3:4-5) 

Every child is different, and as parents we learn not to “lock-in” what we decide is God’s route for them. I will graduate my third child, Maria, this month from our home school “academy”. At seventeen, she is a gifted musician and photographer with an entrepreneurial spirit. Although she took her college boards, I realized that she wanted to experience the real world instead of a college bubble immediately after high school. She will intern for a year at a local media group, work on the side, and begin her photography business: MNW Photography. I’m so proud of her.

I do know that there is a time in our children’s lives where they have to begin to “own” their future, their behavior, their desires, their faith, their education, and their talents and skills. For my children it has been sometime in their mid-teens…for some earlier, for some later. Perhaps this is that time for him when it comes to his love for music. I cannot “make” him practice forever. Maybe drum lessons was a stepstool to his passion for music composition/recording. There I go wondering again. It really doesn’t matter. I know the Voice of my Shepherd and the voice of the stranger that I will not follow. The Holy Spirit leads me into all truth. I put my faith that I am hearing God on this issue. No drum lessons next year. Okay.

I’ve always told my kids that although they have grown up with the Bible and God as a part of every day conversation, resulting in salvation (Romans 10:9) at a young age, that the time would come when they have to “own” their faith.

Our maturity as parents mirrors the quality of our own walk of faith in God. Do we really trust God? We should. He will keep them. After all He is the One who helps us learn how to train, teach, shepherd and steer them in the first place.  

Every child goes through a “wayward" faze. For some, it’s complacency with school while others deal with issues from immorality to disrespect. One of the most difficult lessons we go through as parents is walking the tightrope of protecting our kids with biblical boundaries and rules, while also allowing them to make bad choices in order to understand and accept godly consequences.  A person cannot truly live if they do not have freedom. We cannot cage our children forever. At the same time, we must have a biblical understanding of permissiveness versus godly boundaries. The ages and stages change and shift in this regard, hopefully through our own wise discernment and not the trends and philosophies of contemporary culture. We must lean on God alone to steer us in this journey.

As I write this draft, I am also making dinner. I just reminded my four year old to go potty and I’m listening to my fifteen year old go from practicing his inversions for 8 minutes to playing around with the various sounds on my electric keyboard. Years ago, this level of multi-tasking would have made my fuse short. I would have harshly reminded my son that he was supposed to be practicing his music theory. I would have been stern and critical. However, I’ve grown up a bit. Even now I’m calm, as I fix this sentence because my 2 year old just grabbed the mouse while I was typing. Oh my.

Have you ever feel like telling your kids, “Gimme a break!”

I think our kids feel the same way.    

So, rather than nagging, I’m letting my fifteen year old “play around” on the keyboard for fun, instead of practice his intervals and arpeggios. He’s done a lot of history and literature today. It was too hot at lunchtime to go outside to play basketball. He needs a break.

This moment of "play" during school hours is a good thing. I know it is stimulating his creativity, which is necessary for any  talented person.  So I am glad that I’m older and wiser. God's loving-kindness has matured me as a parent. I’m calm. 

This is my life as a parent. And it is good.

So when they saw Him, they were amazed; and His mother said to Him, “Son, why have You done this to us? Look, Your father and I have sought You anxiously.”And He said to them, “Why did you seek Me? Did you not know that I must be about My Father’s business?”  But they did not understand the statement which He spoke to them. (Luke 2: 48-50)

Lord, help us to understand that sometimes our children will have a better idea of what You are calling them to do, than we do. Help us yield completely to Your route for their lives, never anxious, but understanding that You, their Heavenly Parent, ordained their lives for Your pleasure, Your purpose and Your glory.

Part 3: Potty or Parent Training (To be posted mid-June)

Ages and Stages Part 1

Have you ever been so exhausted that you stood at the gas pump and stared at the instructions—as if you’d never put gas in your vehicle before?  I’m raising my hand.

Have you ever had to juggle working, husband and/or children time, domestic duties, and personal time and dropped not one, but all of them? I’m raising my hand.

Have you ever been in a season as a stay at home mom where your husband worked another job or long hours? Inevitably, you would get so tired that you entertained the thought of putting the kids in bed an hour and a half early? My hand is still raised.

What about this? Do you have a teenager who will be able to get their permit within the year, or an adult child who is faithfully praying for their future spouse? I’m raising my hand.

How many times have you been asked: “What do you do for a living?” If you are a parent,  your initial unspoken answer may be, “What do I do to stay alive?!”

I LOVE my eight children (two are in heaven due to miscarriages). I know that they love me back. If someone or something would come against them….ugh, I may end up in jail. Love protects and will sacrifice life itself to do so.

But loving isn’t easy. In both marriage and parenthood we learn that love is not just a noun, it’s a verb. And a tough one to live out at times.  But the process of learning how to love well is one of the most worthwhile missions that we can undertake.

My children are 22, 20, 17, 15, 4 and 2. We have been in a constant state of transition since my firstborn graduated from our home school and began community college four years ago. 

Tomorrow, I will experience a sense of satisfaction that will be new and extremely encouraging. My firstborn will graduate from the University of Virginia. It’s a neat feeling that I’m sure every caregiver feels when they have worked hard to put a child in the best possible position for them to achieve their God-given dreams.

Sometimes I feel like I grow up more than my kids. I probably do. The birth of children reminds us how grateful we are but the stages that each child experiences, reminds us how clueless we really are.

The stages our kids go through teach the great value of taking a deep breath and counting to ten. They teach us to laugh or at least try to smirk and not grimace when right after a cup of water spills on the table, a cup of juice falls on the floor. Maybe that three year old is just not ready for a no lid cup yet. Oh well.

As much as my children mature, I do too. At 44 years old, I’m a much better person now because these six extremely wonderful treasures have shown me my inadequate humanity and convinced me that daily I need to draw from the reality of God’s unconditional, unceasing, enduring, and tangible love.  

I hope that you enjoy this multi-part blog post: “Ages and Stages”. Even now, I chuckle as my four and two year old watch their early morning “Little Einsteins” show and my oldest gets dressed to go to the Valedictory Exercises at UVa with her dad.  I never would have planned for a 20 year gap between kids. But my God knew exactly what He was doing. He was saying, “Tina, study Me and how I have parented you. Then you will know how to parent generations of kids.”

"Okay, Daddy. I will."

Then He took the child by the hand, and said to her, “Talitha, cumi,” which is translated, “Little girl, I say to you, arise.” Matthew 5:41

Today, I pray that you will take God’s hand and arise out of whatever situation is stealing the abundant life that He desires for you. Our Father in heaven knows what you need and He will provide. 

End of Part 1

My current multi-part blog post-in-progress is becoming more about the stages we go through as parents versus the stages our kids go through. I think we may grow up more than they do! Stay tuned.

GREAT NEWS!

Readers and music lovers,
I'm excited to share with you these special announcements:

Blessings From Above: A Deeper Look at the Beatitudes  by Heather Hart

Have you ever wondered what it meant to be more like Christ? Have you ever read through the beatitudes and wondered exactly what Christ meant? If so, "Blessings from Above" is the perfect book for you. Reviewers are calling it fantastic, nourishing, and a blessing. Get your copy today for only 99 cents on Amazon.com.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00JAN7DT4/

https://www.facebook.com/booksbyhart


Note: Heather Hart is a great source of information and encouragement for new authors when it comes to marketing and promotion. A devoted wife and mother, she continually glorifies God in her work and this is evident in her new release: Blessings From Above. Feel free to visit her Facebook page to get to know her better.

All Things New: City Church Worship CD 

City Church Worship is the worship team for City Church in Charlottesville, VA led by Calie Garrett, City Church's Worship Arts Pastor.  We are a group of musicians, artists, and worship leaders who love Jesus, are passionate about the worship that He deserves, and long to see this world transformed for His name’s sake.  We also participate in the Charlottesville Worship Collective, a network of Worship Leaders in the Cville area designed to bring synergy to the local Church through our collective worship of Jesus.  City Church Worship is administrated by Watershed Music Co. 
To order: https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/all-things-new/id868771037       
Click here to hear a song from the cd: http://ow.ly/w7e8E      

http://www.citychurchworship.org/                 https://www.facebook.com/citychurchworship

Note: On the Home tab of this blog, you can find a version of  "Great Is Thy Faithfulness" written by Calie Garrett. This beautiful worship song brought me to tears the first time I heard it. A video of some of the team can be found on the Media tab.
 
 

Abba's Lament by Tina Webb

Long before Adam and Eve...

Six angelic beings governed Earth. They were beautiful and strong, exquisitely formed and fashioned. The day they became enemies is forever etched in their memories. It  was Helel's fault.

Not even Abba, the Creator, conceived that Helel could become enchanted by an impossible notion: to be deity. Emboldened by beautiful Atara, Helel morphs from a faithful friend to a cunning foe. Now we must contend with the most evil kingdom that existence has ever known. God has a plan.

Get your 99 cent copy today.

http://www.amazon.com/Abbas-Lament-Tina-Webb-ebook/dp/B00EBUKVF4

https://www.facebook.com/BeforeTheBeginningTWebb





Announcing Two New Books in the "History Mystery" Series! 
by Deborah Heal


Once Again is the first of a series of novellas that serve as a sequel for the original Time and Again “history mystery” trilogy. But the series also stands alone for those who haven’t read Time and Again, Unclaimed Legacy, andEvery Hill and Mountain. But if you’d like to read the trilogy first, good news! You can now get the trilogy in a boxed set and save over 50% off the individual price.


http://deborahheal.com/announcing-two-new-books-in-th/

https://www.facebook.com/DeborahHeal

Note: I met Deborah on a social media site for Christian authors. You can read the wonderful guest post that she wrote on this blog if you click on the Blog Archive for December 2013.